I’m starved for touch, but if I can touch people with my words then its not so bad…
It’s like freezing to death – you don’t know that your even cold till you feel a little warm. I need to be touched so bad it hurts sometimes and touching my self with words and with hands is not enough. I must touch some one, stroke them, massage them, put my lips to their flesh, feel their heart beat through the skin, and bone. I need to be kissed breathless, to have my hair pulled from the nape of my neck, to feel nails and hungry hands all over, to feel some one else, so frustrated that they are shaking with need beside me … so needy that when I actually touch them they moan out loud, out loud like I would moan if only touched deep enough.…I just wrote all this, out pouring of my head, raw emotions revealed as the quiet of my room descends and I must turn out the lights and be alone in this bed… must find a way to sleep and pretend I can live without being touched.